What is as persistent as time, as steady as water, hard as a rock and the same time soft as cotton? It can hit you unexpected, or you can create it willingly. It can be brought on the feathers of wind or travel through the ground.
I am talking about the only thing that is happening every second of every moment anytime ever: Change!
This tiny Word change, which causes strong people to crumble, weak to become heroes, which then shake up nations.
Did you know, that the most people on our world are afraid of change? Even thou, it is happening around them everywhere, nonstop.
Change can be scary, change can me magical, change can be wonderful and change can be unexpected. But like with Life or Death itself, change is not a good or a bad thing. Change itself, is nothing more than it is.
Maybe I can count myself as one of the lucky ones because my whole adult life change has been a big part of my everyday life. Starting in the insurance industry back when I was 17teen.
I was able to realize quickly that change can be sometimes a very devastating and scary thing, but I also saw wonder happen, when families were able to rise above and beyond everything they ever expected.
If we look very basically towards what change actually is, we will quickly see, that we could compare it to its fullest form with Hermes – the messenger of the gods – or just simple with a delivery guy. Doesn’t matter what he brings you, he is just the deliverer. Not the cause nor the action that made the change happen.
With a delivery that only brought what has to be brought, change loses its scariness as well as its miracle. And still the Effects of whatever the change is or was, will touch us deeply, rattle us up or only strife us briefly. However it happens, from the moment the change was delivered, it is completely up to us how we deal with it.
Sometimes it seems to be unfair, brutal and cruel, or so overwhelmingly powerful that we can’t grasp its full impact. Yet another change can shift everything back in just a second.
Before I get to my point, I want to split-change (even it has countless ways and forms) into two major simplified categories. “Good change”, and “Bad change”.
Let me first talk about the change that makes people hateful and scared about it.
The “Bad change.“ (Please never forget change is not good or bad it just is! While it just is, it is only a deliverer – The messenger of gods.)
We all know bad unexpected changes, it can completely destroy us. Make the most stable and successful men go into depression, or destroy whole families. It can take a fortune in a blink of an eye or wipe out a complete city in minutes. Ok, this is big scale terrible horror and whoever is left behind, has to deal with the changed situation. The only one in charge to handle the change is you.
Now two things are important to be understood
1. what we make out of a change is entirely up to us.
2. How we feel, fear, and hate is our decision.
This was for me the hardest part to understand. Even a destructive person, which had caused a change and brought hard times, left it entirely up to myself to make out of this situation, what it should be for me.
To integrate and deal with “Bad” Changes, and yet again a change is just a messenger; I learned to do the following steps.
And please, let myself be very clear about this, I am not giving you here an all way solution to deal with whatever is hitting you on your way, I am telling you what helped me on mine. Maybe, you can find with keeping an open mind, a way to deal with your own changes.
Here is what I do in 6 simple steps:
- I will calm myself, I will go to a quiet place, sit down, erase all distractions from around me and close my eyes, I will listen to my heartbeat and let my mind run haywire a while longer.
- Then I will start to gently push by side the storm of thoughts and breath slowly and steady, while my heartbeat calms down I dive into my mind imagining the change in form of a Person in front of me. This Person will, in our Case of “Bad change” (don’t worry I won’t repeat here that change is just a messenger…) be most likely a Monstrous, demonized thing that will be really scary.
- Then I will step up to it and speak out loud:
“I know, you are just a messenger, you are not evil or good, you have no intention’s, you have no desire, you just are. What you brought me were pain and suffering, and I know we both can’t do something about it anymore now. But I not blame you, and I forgive you.”
As I step closer, I hold it on the shoulders and then in my inner eye a magical thing happens, when I look it into the Eye I realize it starting to change, it will transform into a perfect copy of myself, calm, at ease and this clone will be just there.
- I will then repeat what I said before and put on top: ” I accept the moment, I embrace it, and I will take responsibilities for my response to it.”
- I then hugging my inner me and notice it shrinking, into my inner child. As I am holding my child me, in my mind, I picture myself as a boy and say: “Thank you that you tried to protect me, thank you.I will deal with it from here on, you do not need to worry.”
- Then I open my eyes, and a feeling of acceptance and peace has taken place. The change still is, but it lost all its power over me. Now I can go on and deal with all what was caused, and in some cases find a way to let another wonderful positive change, take place.
The Second Change, the “Good change“. (also here change is just the messenger) and it can be equally scary in comparison to “Bad change”.
Some changes can happen so fast, and can be so overwhelming that it will leave you paralyzed or make you miss an important obvious situation that would be needed to keep the new good circumstances in your life. Whatever it is you experiencing.
I always respond, in the same way, as I do with every kind of change. Also, here I will first enjoy the moment, then go to a quiet place and calm myself. I start then to listen inside of me and close my eyes, as my heartbeat slows, I will visualize inside my mind the change that had taken place, in form of a person.
It will be a shining person, made out of light and pure energy, that will fill my whole mind with bright warm light. I will talk to the being and tell the same I told the other one. After getting closer, I will also hold it, accept it, and give it a hug. Finally, I will look into its face and realize it’s me. When I feel ready, I start taking my soul self, with its message into my arms and open my eyes. After I can look towards the new situation closely with an easily focused mind and do what is needed to make sure the new change will be properly integrated and kept safe in my life.
I like to repeat here again, that this is just how I deal with it. There are obviously many ways, beliefs, and techniques out there. And that is good. Maybe for the one or the other who reads this, it will make a change ;-), and maybe it will help. And if not, at least I hope you got an impression of how an open mind can bring you a story like this closer without affecting you.
keep in mind, change is the only constant in life. – Stefan Logar
If you got value and fun out of this little story, come and meet me live at one of our conferences. Find out more here!